In light of recent developments, I am somewhat relieved. I've been seeing someone, and it is refreshing to know that the apathy (emotionally and physically) that plagued me in my last relationship is gone. I don't feel forced to be affectionate, and it brings me genuine joy and happiness to express it. Something I haven't experienced in a long time.
It is fleeting though, I know that come the fall, when ze moves away, this relationship will end. Looking at things overall, it does seem pretty random, and illogical for us to work as an item.
I find myself regressing at times. Still. Old habits are coming back, and I don't care for them. While some are just small things that affect the way I am perceived, others are old demons that are still puttering around in me.
It is a strange time, I feel there is this reservoir of held back negativity that I'm not addressing, but, here, and now, with hir, I simply don't want, or have to deal with it. I can just forget about everything and live in the moment. What I'm going to do when ze leaves...I've yet to figure out.
It is fleeting though, I know that come the fall, when ze moves away, this relationship will end. Looking at things overall, it does seem pretty random, and illogical for us to work as an item.
I find myself regressing at times. Still. Old habits are coming back, and I don't care for them. While some are just small things that affect the way I am perceived, others are old demons that are still puttering around in me.
It is a strange time, I feel there is this reservoir of held back negativity that I'm not addressing, but, here, and now, with hir, I simply don't want, or have to deal with it. I can just forget about everything and live in the moment. What I'm going to do when ze leaves...I've yet to figure out.
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