Well it is about time for an update, since..well it has been to long. I find it easy to not write when I feel rather at ease so, I hope you don't go to long without visiting. My strain has transferred somewhat away from being trans, and more on general employment issues. While I'm still working on my Masters, i'm trying to find something I can do once I graduate. Easier said than done however.
I broke it off with the person I was seeing, well rather it was a mutual decision since we both knew we wouldn't marry the other. This was upsetting at the time, but a relieving as I think the way ze is going is not one I find attractive. Not that it is bad, it just isn't to my personal taste.
So to take back some of that compassion I've adopted a cat. She is the complete opposite of what I wanted, in that she is very generic looking. I wanted something a bit unique and different, but I feel in love with this one and her adorableness. I'm still getting used to it, but so far it isn't to bad.
Regarding the medication, I had my dosage of anti-androgens doubles, and my estrogen injection frequency halved. This was fairly recent so I haven't seen much of a difference in the marginal rate of change, but hopefully things will begin to accelerate.
Things are strange, I'm not doing well in school, something about a lack of motivation and burnout, I've had unfair dreams about having things I want, and don't have. My body image isn't going so well, the changes are desirable, but the image I have isn't fitting yet. On top of that I think I found my first wrinkle. This all culminates in that I'm apparently obsessed with young beauty, and my lack of it. I decided to diet for the next week for the party on Thursday. not that I'm especially fat, but seeing as I exercise very little, I would like my mid section to look...better.
Things are just very chaotic, and I find it hard to find much to be happy about. It isn't a relapse into depression over the trans issue, it is more just a melancholy that i'm used to. Yes i'm working on improving things, but it is never enough. Combine that with the lack of positive in my daily life, and it leads to emptiness.
I broke it off with the person I was seeing, well rather it was a mutual decision since we both knew we wouldn't marry the other. This was upsetting at the time, but a relieving as I think the way ze is going is not one I find attractive. Not that it is bad, it just isn't to my personal taste.
So to take back some of that compassion I've adopted a cat. She is the complete opposite of what I wanted, in that she is very generic looking. I wanted something a bit unique and different, but I feel in love with this one and her adorableness. I'm still getting used to it, but so far it isn't to bad.
Regarding the medication, I had my dosage of anti-androgens doubles, and my estrogen injection frequency halved. This was fairly recent so I haven't seen much of a difference in the marginal rate of change, but hopefully things will begin to accelerate.
Things are strange, I'm not doing well in school, something about a lack of motivation and burnout, I've had unfair dreams about having things I want, and don't have. My body image isn't going so well, the changes are desirable, but the image I have isn't fitting yet. On top of that I think I found my first wrinkle. This all culminates in that I'm apparently obsessed with young beauty, and my lack of it. I decided to diet for the next week for the party on Thursday. not that I'm especially fat, but seeing as I exercise very little, I would like my mid section to look...better.
Things are just very chaotic, and I find it hard to find much to be happy about. It isn't a relapse into depression over the trans issue, it is more just a melancholy that i'm used to. Yes i'm working on improving things, but it is never enough. Combine that with the lack of positive in my daily life, and it leads to emptiness.
