Muted

I recently converted my laptop into a recording studio. I'll spare you the nerdy details but I really like the options I have in recording and creating. The problem lies in that I've lost my creativity. I can come up with a guitar riff or a chord progression, but I absolutely fail at being able to hear the completed work. I've no idea how the vocals/drums/bass should go, at all. This is a major disappointment to me, as I enjoy writing and composing, it just seems that in going through the higher education system I've had the creative voice stripped out of me. So while I have all these new toys to play around with, I have no idea or direction in which to take them. It's a glorified creative purgatory. For an aspiring artists, what else could it be?

Romantically, I'm trying to give up on some people that I've been in love with for a long time. I haven't really told them how I feel, but I know the possibilities of things working out is very slim. For the life of me I've tried to forget about them, but it seems anytime I try to talk to these people, or see them somewhere, I get aflutter, and don't know what to do with myself. It isn't that simple, as one is a friend I've had for a long time, who isn't interested in women, which makes things sad. Not in that I regret or would change who I am for a relationship, but I mourn for the love we won't share, as I feel it could have been wonderful.

So I'm trying to give up on those possibilities, but it's easier said than done.