Tampons

I know that simply moving into a new environment doesn't solve any old problems, as it just puts them in a new environment. I'm really beginning to feel though, that if I can't get out of Texas, that things won't really get better. I'm in a drastic need of a new situation. A place to begin again, and remake myself...again. Not that it will be easy, but my motivation to stay in this place is threadbare, and no one is really making me want to stay. This place doesn't foster the kind of friends I want to have. While they are great in their own way, it isn't what I'm looking for, nor has it been for a long time.

I'm not sure if my decline in mood is attributed to my living alone, or a combination of other things. I'm inclined to think it is stress, along with lonliness. I'm glad I have another concert tonight, being shoved into a small cluster of humans sounds like exactly the type of subtle human connection that will do me good.

I got my period today. I thought about how to phrase this, and whether to publicize it, but I think it fits best here. I know many cisgender women would be quick to criticize a transwoman saying that, but transwomen bleed just as often. We do just as much work to hide it, tolerate, and deal with. The only real difference being that one is genetic, and the other self inflicted. I debated posting a "tampon" picture on facebook of the aftermath, but it would probably generate the type of attention I'm not looking for. The notion is something I very much want to spread, but as much as it appeals to me, I think much of the message would be lost in favor of inquiring about my state of mind and self destructive habits.

Anyway, I'll update again tonight or tomorrow and hopefully will be feeling better.