Restless

I'm not sure what is up with me. This coincides with another recent phenomena of not knowing what I'm doing. This time however, I'm displaying all the usual tendencies and habits that I had when I was depressed. I'm being a hermit, and not going outside, not bothering to get dressed on some days, and simply escaping everyday for hours on end into movies and television, what have you.

Oddly though, I don't feel depressed, but then...it sneaks up on you. I'm mainly feeling alone, and somewhat abandoned. Between my ex, and Denver I'm longing for contact, but it seems unlikely. That may be why I've been feeling sentimental about past relationships and feelings long gone. Though it doesn't help the lonely nights, it does give a nice sense of warmth at times.

It is similar after every relationship dissolves, I loose what was my best friend, and end up feeling empty and incomplete. It doesn't really go away, so much as I simply forget how it feels amidst the apathy and depression. The current habit seems to be coasting on in a purgatory like state until someone jump starts me alive again.

I suppose that answers my question.