I've been studying for an exam tomorrow off/on all day today, and getting online now and then to check my mail etc. Anyways, this oncoming rant occurred to me after a girl I knew in High School saw one of my pictures and asked why I was in a dress. (its a good photo of me, and one I actually like enough to leave online).
I am going to have to kill myself. Not in the literal sense of suicide, but in the identity aspect. I am going to have to end my relationships with everyone I know (those who doesn't know about being trans already). For example, this girl who commented, I am going to have to either stop talking to her all together, or tell her. Since I don't really know her all that well, it will most likely be that I stop talking to her. In essence, I have to rid the world of the person I was/am most known as, and take that person's place as who I am now.
Perhaps psychological warfare would have been a more apt title, but I digress.
I wish it were as easy as simply shanking that identity, but unfortunately there is a physical manifestation that must accompany it, and so far, that manifestation is slow going. Hopefully I can start get ridding of things relatively soon. As distressing as killing off relationships will be, I have to make that sacrifice.
I am more than eager to stab the male identity of me in the heart repeatedly, with much disdain and prejudice.
I am going to have to kill myself. Not in the literal sense of suicide, but in the identity aspect. I am going to have to end my relationships with everyone I know (those who doesn't know about being trans already). For example, this girl who commented, I am going to have to either stop talking to her all together, or tell her. Since I don't really know her all that well, it will most likely be that I stop talking to her. In essence, I have to rid the world of the person I was/am most known as, and take that person's place as who I am now.
Perhaps psychological warfare would have been a more apt title, but I digress.
I wish it were as easy as simply shanking that identity, but unfortunately there is a physical manifestation that must accompany it, and so far, that manifestation is slow going. Hopefully I can start get ridding of things relatively soon. As distressing as killing off relationships will be, I have to make that sacrifice.
I am more than eager to stab the male identity of me in the heart repeatedly, with much disdain and prejudice.
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