So tired

 I feel exhausted. My job is incredibly draining and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells trying to not fuck up anything else, yet I keep doing so. It's exhausting to deal with, feeling constantly like you're screwing something up or forgetting something because you don't have the tools to accurately track things. I don't like this position, it doesn't suit me, and rather than move me into something else, I think they're more likely to just terminate me all together. Which, is fine. I have savings and unemployement at this point which will help. But I don't really want to look for another job just yet. That whole process is hell, and almost as bad as this job in general. 

Its the not knowing, the anxiety and the feeling like a shoe is about to drop at any moment that is draining me. It doesn't help that my boss is terrible at her job, at least terrible in managing me, but that isn't unexpected, most managers get there via experience and failing up rather than expertise in how to manage people. 

I'm just so so tired of everything. Life is exhausting and I'd much rather just sleep for the remaining 30 years or so of my life. Just, let me sleep forever, I'm so tired of being forced to do this shit under the threat of starvation/homelessness.