Haunted

I feel my insecurities boiling over. I'm withdrawing, back into my protective shell, from those I love. I'm not entirely sure why, but I have my suspicions. Mostly, I think it comes from feeling vulnerable and overextended emotionally. Ever since my last relationship I've been paranoid about being hurt again, and that other people are not as into me as they think, or at all.

What is surprising to me is just how much of an effect this has had on me. For being over a year ago, almost 18 months actually, it seems strange perfectly logical that this would pop up now. When looking at things, and what has developed over the past few weeks, the lack of communication and activity with my girlfriend has eroded away my sense of worth in the relationship. How she acts around other partners and people seems to be more endearing and emotional than with me. Combined with a recent streak of busyness on both our parts, it makes sense that it magnifies my insecurities into emotional boiling points. I find myself questioning everything, motivation and sincerity. Being overly harsh and critical on word choice and vocal tone to cherry pick meanings and gauge mood and interest levels.