So I wanted to write this entry to talk about libido, hormones, and the resulting effect and desire of each.
Basically, I think as most well admit, young males tend to have very active libidos. This is fine for most of them, it doesn't quite work as well in mysituation condition. In short, it is killing me.
I know that may sound a bit dramatic, but it is very true. One of the main reasons I'm wanting to start taking hormones and beginning that transition is that it effectively halts a male libido. Having to deal with these urges leads to some very unpleasant, violent, and self destructive tendencies. If anything is going to send me over the edge, it is going to be that.
While there are pleasant side effects to taking hormones, most of those only come with long term use (most won't see breast development until around the one year mark). This is the main immediate effect I am looking for (libido reduction not breast development).
At times I don't think people really grasp how deep my hatred for this organ goes. It is the bane of my existence. It isn't a matter of "not being happy" with it, it isn't a cosmetic thing, it isn't that I would like to change it in some form, I would like nothing more than to take a knife to it and be rid of it. Unfortunately, It is needed for future surgeries to be successful. So my hope is that hormones will lower my ..distaste for the organ enough to tolerate it.
On that cheery note, I leave you, I'm still pondering over what to do about telling my father, and the holidays and all that mess, rest assured I will let you all know...just as soon as I do.
Basically, I think as most well admit, young males tend to have very active libidos. This is fine for most of them, it doesn't quite work as well in my
I know that may sound a bit dramatic, but it is very true. One of the main reasons I'm wanting to start taking hormones and beginning that transition is that it effectively halts a male libido. Having to deal with these urges leads to some very unpleasant, violent, and self destructive tendencies. If anything is going to send me over the edge, it is going to be that.
While there are pleasant side effects to taking hormones, most of those only come with long term use (most won't see breast development until around the one year mark). This is the main immediate effect I am looking for (libido reduction not breast development).
At times I don't think people really grasp how deep my hatred for this organ goes. It is the bane of my existence. It isn't a matter of "not being happy" with it, it isn't a cosmetic thing, it isn't that I would like to change it in some form, I would like nothing more than to take a knife to it and be rid of it. Unfortunately, It is needed for future surgeries to be successful. So my hope is that hormones will lower my ..distaste for the organ enough to tolerate it.
On that cheery note, I leave you, I'm still pondering over what to do about telling my father, and the holidays and all that mess, rest assured I will let you all know...just as soon as I do.
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