On Regality

I was told I had an aura of regality today, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. The girl who told me then added that I had a sense of grace about me, which I take as quite the compliment as I try to express my subtle nuances as loudly as possible.

So, news:

I got my class ring, it is quite pretty, but the main issue about that night was that I told my father about being trans. He was pretty well receiving of the information, though to be honest, I don't exactly recall everything that was said (alcohol will do that, what? I'm weak, what can I say). But there is a planned extended discussion about the issue and its...entails, later on this week.

Today was the Lavender Graduation, which is a commencement ceremony for all of us LGBTQA folk. It was a little odd since I will still be around, but generally pretty fun. I didn't get to talk to the adviser though, which bummed me out a bit. So now I think I will have to email her and ask about HRT, and where to go about getting that started.

The roommate will be leaving tomorrow, which means I have two whole days to myself to dress up, and be as much of a girly hermit as I want to. Though I don't know what if anything I will do in those two days.

As for my mental health, well it is as flaky as ever. I've been absoarbing myself in video games and movies as much as possible to avoid spending any time in my head. I had a pretty intense cry today, but that isn't anything unordinary. I'm trying to starve off another round of it at the moment, in which I may just go to bed and sleep it off.

I try and remember just what all I have done this year, and how far i've come. But that doesn't really mean anything when looking in the mirror and still seing horrors.

HA, well on that cherry note, I bid you adieu.

On the criminality of being female

So, I have to blame the pregnant man for this rant, not that I have any issues with him, but my roommate does apparently. Which is what brought up this entire issue. My roommate argued quite passionately for the maintaining of the divide between genders. He argued that he was a liar because the pregnant man's chromosomes didn't match that of a typical man (XX vs XY).

My stance on the issue is both that there is no such thing as Male or Female, but a sliding scale or spectrum of the two. Just as there are degrees of sexual preference, and that almost no one is 100% purely strait or gay, gender is much the same way. To the extent that there is no such thing as a pure or "real" man and a pure or "real" woman.

Of course his whole and entire argument lies on the basis that there is a chromosomal difference between biological males and females. While he is content to say that difference is the sole and only judgment for male and female, I do not agree. I say that a persons gender (be it role, identity, or other entirely) is much more determined by a persons behavior, personality, habits, culture, etc. Rather than look at a single aspect of a persons genetics, I think it is more true to look at the entire picture of aspects, and I don't think that one aspect of a person's DNA is the end all be all criterion for the basis of gender.

That said, why does that have to do with the criminality of being female in this country? Well as my roommate passionately went on about what it meant to be male and how the pregnant man isn't one, his debate began to confirm a position I've had for a while. That being that it is a crime to be female in this country. Now I don't mean it in a way that you will go to jail and be prosecuted. I mean it in that everything in this country revolves around men, masculinity, and anyone who is less than that, or appears to be less, is cast down, ridiculed, oppressed, or discriminated against.

Think about this, why are women still less than 1% of executive officers, despite earning half of all the masters degrees in this country, and being half of the workforce (source: Economist.com). Why are FTM (Female to Male) transexuals less scrutinized than their MTF counterparts, why are femme lesbians admired but butch lesbians shunned? In this country, masculinity is worshipped, and anything that appeals to masculinity is admired. So a MTF transsexual is shunned for casting off masculinity, a femme lesbian is approved of because she becoming more masculine (being attracted to women) while still retaining her attraction AS a woman. Compare that to masculine lesbians, who are not nearly given as much limelight or compassion for their ways of life.

Just a bit of an annoyance of mine on an observation, that it seems as long as you have a penis, or are attractive to one, you are alright. But the second you denounce one, you are cast off by this society.

What do you think? Am I way off base? Or do I ring a true tune.
))