So Yes, I need to keep updating, I'm working on it.
So what is new? Well, if all goes according to plan I should start HRT in about two weeks. This is both exciting and scary as hell.
Why scary you ask? Well, I have approximately two years or so in which to finish school, and in that time I have to perfect being able to well, present as female in full time, we at least for job interviews. The issue is that at the moment, I don't have the confidence, or rather don't believe I can pull off (read: convince) an interview as female. So I've two years to perfect that...or convince myself that I can.
The other option is to go as male, which I don't particularly enjoy, but it is doable if necessary. I talked to my therapist about it, and she strongly urged me not to, but...if I need to, it is an option.
In other news, I've nervously changed my name on facebook, and already gotten some feedback, not that it was..unexpected. My old roommate who I never told, expressed...confusion, and well general negativity. Which isn't unexpected, but still annoying. I expect this chaos to continue for the foreseeable future, I think though, the best thing to do is just one violent merge of identities in which those who are with me are seperated from those who aren't.
I gain confidence in anything I do, every "ladies" or "maam" does wonders for me, but I still have a long way before I think I can pull it off on my own. While a large part of that is my voice which is coming along less than adequately, it will hopefully come with the rest of me.
I suppose I am just a bit apprehensive about the ensuing choas of hormonal forces meeting social life, and the results of such.
I plan on updating more frequently, but in general its pretty crazy.
So what is new? Well, if all goes according to plan I should start HRT in about two weeks. This is both exciting and scary as hell.
Why scary you ask? Well, I have approximately two years or so in which to finish school, and in that time I have to perfect being able to well, present as female in full time, we at least for job interviews. The issue is that at the moment, I don't have the confidence, or rather don't believe I can pull off (read: convince) an interview as female. So I've two years to perfect that...or convince myself that I can.
The other option is to go as male, which I don't particularly enjoy, but it is doable if necessary. I talked to my therapist about it, and she strongly urged me not to, but...if I need to, it is an option.
In other news, I've nervously changed my name on facebook, and already gotten some feedback, not that it was..unexpected. My old roommate who I never told, expressed...confusion, and well general negativity. Which isn't unexpected, but still annoying. I expect this chaos to continue for the foreseeable future, I think though, the best thing to do is just one violent merge of identities in which those who are with me are seperated from those who aren't.
I gain confidence in anything I do, every "ladies" or "maam" does wonders for me, but I still have a long way before I think I can pull it off on my own. While a large part of that is my voice which is coming along less than adequately, it will hopefully come with the rest of me.
I suppose I am just a bit apprehensive about the ensuing choas of hormonal forces meeting social life, and the results of such.
I plan on updating more frequently, but in general its pretty crazy.
